Off-topic: Like nailing Jell-O to the wall

An online group I'm involved with has been having some fun with regional phrases, or just colorful phrases they know and love. I know I've had projects that could best be described as being "like nailing Jell-O to the wall" (I have to remember that one!). Others being batted around are:

Like herding cats

That dog/puppy won't hunt

He could mess up a one-car funeral

He/she doesn't know come here from sic em!

Her face could curdle milk at ten feet!

It's higher than a cat's back

She's no bigger than a minute

He is wearin' me slick!

She is slower than honey in January

It's rainin' so hard the animals are linin' up two by two!

He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer

I love this one, too, from a Southerner: You can say anything, as long as you add "bless his/her heart" to it.

My favorite from growing up was my mom's reply whenever I couldn't find something right under my nose—"If it was a snake, it would have bitten you"—and my dad's advice to help me find something I lost: "Look in the last place you put it."

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